did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
