So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
