But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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