I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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