Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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(636): View more from Missouri

Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.

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(813): View more from Florida

Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you

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(817): View more from Texas

Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

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(707): View more from California

I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.

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