Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
