Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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