I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just google imaged poop.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
