i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
