fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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