i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize