Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
