Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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