tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
