But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
