It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
