would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
