Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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