i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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