If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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