I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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