I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He? As in you personified your dick?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize