So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
