I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
