So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
