Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
