erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
its not stalking. its research.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
