It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
