what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
whose parrot is this?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
