nut hugger
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
