I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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