After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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