He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have aggressive nipples.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize