Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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