all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
