When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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