i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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