White coat. Heels.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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