You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
