I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just gift wrapped bread.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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