1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Someone came in the potted fern
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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