But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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