you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize