Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
