Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
