We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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