woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
