Just cropdusted the office
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
