at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
