Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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