I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize