YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
