it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
