Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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