I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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