How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
