Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
