I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
its not stalking. its research.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
