You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Shame - the story of my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
