Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Pooping to opera.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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