I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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