Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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