it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
