sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'd cum for enchiladas.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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