I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize