i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You ate ashes out of my bong
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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