Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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