Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
