oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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