It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
