They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
