you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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