can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
